What is Hipster?

To me, a sporty-type gal with a penchant for what I'd call "bohemian with subtle hipster undertones", I find it fairly easy to point at almost anyone who passes me in the Mission, in my 'hood, and declare them hipster. Hipster is low-rise, skinny, calf-hugging jeans with thrift store blouses and Lisa Loeb glasses; pigtails with a cowlick held back by a bobby pin on the side and purple and pink striped tights in Converse sneaks; thick, black, industrial-type Mary Janes with messenger bags and fingerless gloves and always, always pale. Don't hipsters spend time outside? Is it hipster to slather on sunscreen? How do hipsters sit around in Dolores Park in the summer in jeans? What is the hipster equivalent in a short?

Hipster seems youthful. It seems knowing. It definitely seems Mission-y. It's Ritual coffee and Amoeba canvas bags. It's bedhead and thrift store clothing. I use hipster without much discretion, not really knowing what I'm labeling but feeling hip just to say hipster. Hipster chic. Hipster wannabe. Hipster scene.

From the Hipster Handbook:

Clues You Are a Hipster

1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.

2. You frequently use the term "post-modern" (or its commonly used variation "PoMo") as an adjective, noun, and verb.

3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.

4. You have one Republican friend who you always describe as being your "one Republican friend."

5. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.

6. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Definitive Jux, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, and Drag City.

Hey wait a minute. I have a Republican friend. I went to a liberal arts college. And sometimes I DO think my hair looks best unwashed and fresh out of bed. And not only do I own TWO messenger bags but I also have CDs from Matador and Drag City. That must be my subtle hipster undertones at play. Wait - is it not hipster to have CDs? Did they mean CDs but say records? It couldn't be hipster to own records again, could it? Not that it was ever hipster - it was a fact of life. I mean, that and having to walk a mile to school in the snow....

The Hipster Handbook goes on to outline the definition of a hipster: One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term "cool"; a Hipster would instead say "deck.") The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat.

Here I fall so far off the mark. I'd have to figure out who's cool that would deem me cool and I'm not sure I'm hip enough to discern who's cool enough. And it seems ironic that a hipster would shun anything held dear by the mainstream when a majority of Facebook looks to be the iPhone-carrying, Mac-using, Wired-reading, hipster crowd. And I could never say deck without feeling nauseated by myself. It would be so hella un-deck coming out of my mouth. Oh, and i'm nowhere near 2% bodyfat. And I'm tan. Egads, they'd shun me.

Check out the hipster Olympics from NYC here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAO4EVMlpwM and watch contestants compete in such events as Locating an Ironic T-Shirt and Updating Your MySpace Page. My fave is Judgement Day.